My Three Year Old Lies

She totally does. It makes me so angry. Isn't that too young?

Today she lied over the course of 15 minutes.

I was walking up to the door with the baby on one arm and a handful of groceries in the other. The heavy groceries. Milk and eggs and such.

She slammed the door right as I got to it and when I came in said she didn't do it. She blamed Jackson who was in the living room under a blanket.

I kind of freaked out and sent her to her room. I didn't know what else to do in the moment. This is where you come in. How do I teach this concept of lying to her in a way that she can understand and grasp?

So then I set everything down and went in the room to feed my screaming baby. I came back out and half my soda was gone.

I asked who did it and they both said neither of them did it. So I told them they couldn't have snacks that we had just bought at the store. Jackson said "I didn't do it mommy. Maybe it was Jesus." lol. I laughed outloud. He's been talking a lot about Jesus lately. On a side note he asked me who made the bad things in the world. I told him it was Satan, or the devil. And so now he asks about Satan the Devil. lol. Again, I'm laughing outloud. It's cute. Anyway, Sadie continued to say she didn't do it and Jackson finally told me Sadie did it. And I believe him. Cause he isn't quite into the lying as much.

Please help me before I turn into the earthy human woman version of Satan the Devil.

Porn for Pregnant Women!

I was inspired when I read this post from the Pregant Chicken. I created my own. I'd love for you to come up with some too. Remember, this IS the post office. Drop it off!

Pitty-Potty-Party

This guest post comes from Jess or Jessi if you aren't her true friend. Just kidding. Jessi has been a good friend of Lisa's for like, ever. More than 10 years. They've been pregnant together 2 times and are pretty much awesome together. Jess is a model, a mom and more! A model mom? We are so lucky and privileged to hear from her. You can hear more stories like this from her over at The Fox Thoughts.


1- Do you sneeze and pee your pants? (even if you cross your legs to "hold it")
2- Do you cough and pee?
3- Do you laugh and pee a little?
4- Do you yell at your child, animal, TV or any technology, etc and you still pee?



                                      (Isn't that picture funny? I couldn't resist posting!)

Well.... if you answered yes to any of the above you must be pregnant and you are entitled to a freaking pitty-potty-party!! If you haven't, well then you are just one of the lucky ones.

As a teenager, I would listen to my mom's friends and my grandma talk about their pregnancy nightmares. My jaw would always drop when they would talk about peeing themselves. Are you effing kidding me? This really happens? I always worried about this because I have a pea-sized bladder. Then it happened. I was pregnant with my first son (third trimester if that matters) while at work when a lovely sneeze attack hit me...I felt my bladder weaken with each sneeze... "Oh shit! Did I just pee or ....?!" I looked down and faced a nightmare. Yes, I did just pee myself while at work. Being the only one there, I couldn't leave. I called my super sister and luckily, she came to my rescue with some fresh panties, pants and some chocolate. I love her. And she still reminds me of this. Isn't she sweet? LOL

A few weeks ago, I woke up with horrible congestion and a chest cold. I couldn't breathe. I'd sniff the little snotties and tinkle... and then cough and tinkle again...sneeze and tinkle ... Ugh. I messaged Lisa. "Seriously, does this happen? Or am I just a freak?" Lol So funny. Whenever I sneeze, cough, laugh, yell, or even drive over the bumps in the road, it's followed by a loud "dammit to hell!" my sweet lover will ask, "What's wrong? Did you pee again?" Ughhh. So embarrassing and awkward. My little baby likes to kick and punch my bladder which also makes me pee. This never ends.

I assure you, you are not a freak. Pee happens! On a good note, I've become a cold blooded bathroom hunter no matter the location. I can spot the 'Restroom' sign from across the store. That's talent. I am learning to control when I choose to yell at my almost 5 year old. Yelling = peeing. You can do Kegals to help with this glamorous gift of pregnancy.

If you pee yourself, eat some chocolate, drink your favorite soda, change your panties, and know that we all do this at some point. :)

                                                There ain't no shame in my game! Ha ha!

Gas-gasm

We've got our first guest poster and we're thrilled. Terina from The Maldonado's is a friend of mine (Lisa's) from childhood. If you consider childhood your teenage years. She has red hair and so do I therefore she's pretty much awesome on my scale. Enjoy! And thanks Terina!

You know what I absolutely love the most about being pregnant?  (When I say love really I mean the thing I completely hate)  Gas.  You know how it just happens, if you’re like me, all the time.  I’ve turned into that nasty old person I hate at the grocery store.  I happily let one rip while picking my produce, because if it’s coming out, it’s not going to make me miserable staying in!  I’ve gotten to the point, I don’t care if it smells, if people hear me, or know it’s me, I just don’t want to get to that point where I feel like I’m going to explode if I don’t let it out.  Yeah I’ve gotten to be nasty like that.  And no, I don’t care, and I don’t care what you think about that. 

If you’ve ever been pregnant you probably understand why.  If you’ve never been pregnant or were just lucky enough to not have miserable gas let me tell you why I couldn’t care less what anyone thinks about me as long as the gas is coming out.

If it doesn’t come out it’s staying in!  Let me tell you a little what that feels like.  A little like someone crammed a giant ball into your stomach (let us not forget there is already a baby growing in there taking up the majority of the room, so this ball is in addition to the uterus containing the human you are growing).  It is covered in acid that is eating you alive from the inside out.  You know the only way to alleviate the pain caused by the giant acid bomb is to burp or fart.  So that’s pretty much all you want to do in life is burp or fart.  Every move you make hurts, laying down, sitting, pretty much just being alive.  You start to feel a little unhuman as your body is being taken over by the pain.   As this giant ball moves it hurts more, in other places.  You feel it moving and know relief has to be coming, it’s working its way out.

Finally the point comes where you just let one rip.  A giant fart that would make any hillbilly proud.  This is what I call a gas-gasm.  Why?  Because it’s a little reminiscent of an orgasm.  How in the world is passing gas, like an orgasm?  Well let me tell you.  You have to build up to an orgasm, you build up to it, you feel it coming, and you can’t wait for it.  Then all of the sudden….WHAM!  Best feeling EVER!!!  You might even sigh or let out a light moan after.  Oh the joy of an orgasm.  Same with pregnant gas.  It builds up, you can feel it coming, and you just can’t wait for it.  The RIPPPPP!  Best feeling EVER!!!!  No more pain.  You’re human again.  You might even let out a sigh, or little moan of relief.  You just had a gas-gasm!

Now if only orgasms could occur as often during pregnancy as gas-gasms do, that would be lovely now wouldn’t it!!!!