My Three Year Old Lies

She totally does. It makes me so angry. Isn't that too young?

Today she lied over the course of 15 minutes.

I was walking up to the door with the baby on one arm and a handful of groceries in the other. The heavy groceries. Milk and eggs and such.

She slammed the door right as I got to it and when I came in said she didn't do it. She blamed Jackson who was in the living room under a blanket.

I kind of freaked out and sent her to her room. I didn't know what else to do in the moment. This is where you come in. How do I teach this concept of lying to her in a way that she can understand and grasp?

So then I set everything down and went in the room to feed my screaming baby. I came back out and half my soda was gone.

I asked who did it and they both said neither of them did it. So I told them they couldn't have snacks that we had just bought at the store. Jackson said "I didn't do it mommy. Maybe it was Jesus." lol. I laughed outloud. He's been talking a lot about Jesus lately. On a side note he asked me who made the bad things in the world. I told him it was Satan, or the devil. And so now he asks about Satan the Devil. lol. Again, I'm laughing outloud. It's cute. Anyway, Sadie continued to say she didn't do it and Jackson finally told me Sadie did it. And I believe him. Cause he isn't quite into the lying as much.

Please help me before I turn into the earthy human woman version of Satan the Devil.

Hiatus, from life?

I think Jaime is missing in action. It might be that she has been traveling all over the world, or maybe she is just not wanting to think about pregnancy.

I am not full term! 37 weeks! I'm sort of having a midlife crisis. Again. Does that surprise you? Things have changed as far as where I'm going to give birth. I feel uneasy. Don't get me wrong, I'm really excited to meet this little one and I can't wait to hold her and have her and love her. I just wish I knew when and where and how this was all gonna go.

I've texted both my mom and my sister, telling them I just want a C-section. I know deep down it's not true, I'm just tired and stressed and sad. 

I'm watching Desperate Housewives and and Bree was just driving and turning the steering wheel way too much to the left and to the right. I hate fake driving.

Do you want any of my stuff? I have WAY too much of it. I want to share it with you. I really am trying to go minimal. We only have 4 bowls. I keep trying to get rid of the 8 plastic plates and 19 cups we have. Only, my husband and kids keep finding more. I really think it will help with our dish problem.

Do you also hate that I shared that free link or whatever it was in the last post? Cause I think I still want to do that.

Anyway, I'm gonna go. Congrats to Hannah on her baby! Yay!

How To: Not _________ Your Family

The overwhelming desire to run walk hobble out my front door has almost completely taken over. I can't do it. I honestly cannot even face another day like this one.

It takes me 30 minutes PER KID to get them ready. That's not including myself. Let me tell you about this day today. Well no, I'll just tell you that we got the oldest child ready with underwear, pants, shoes AND socks on. And a shirt of course. 1 minute (no exaggeration) later, he peed his pants. It was 12 o'clock. WE have to leave at 12 to get him to school on time. So that was exciting.

Even before this, The Girl Child was having a good time pouring water back and forth between my fancy Ziploc plastic containers. I was sitting here watching her as she walked from the kitchen into the living room to put some water in a different plastic container. After she spilled the whole way, I asked her not to do that again. She DELIBERATELY looked at me as she walked (watching me and NOT where she was going) back to the kitchen spilling again. With a giant mischievous smile on her face.

The Girl Child was nice enough to get her brother a doughnut when we went to Safeway to pick up a prescription for my burning bladder. So we left the store and were driving home and I turned around and saw 2 doughnuts with the chocolate eaten off the top. Her brother wasn't in the car.

Tonight The Boy Child peed his pants again and The Girl Child drew on the wall with a king size Sharpie permanent marker. You might think it's funny but it just makes me cry.

And I'm gonna do this again?

Right.

Can you please buy me one of these? It would make me feel A LOT better.

Valentine's Day Bummer

How was your Valentine's Day? Oh? That good? How wonderful for you. I'm truly happy for you. So so so ........... so happy. For you.
I'm sure we're all pretty equally cynical about this day. Which really we all know just means we all jealous of happy people!
But that's not what I'm writing about!
I won't tell you how my husband promised me since last week that I'm getting something so cool. So you won't know how he came home from work early, took a nap, and when I asked him where my present is (I don't ever beat around the bush), he told me. Oh! But I'm not telling you, am I? Right. So I definitely won't tell you that he needed to go pick it up, but he just never has enough time.
Probably for this.

(This is one thing that Valentine's Day is very good for. We all know it's coming. Make the freaking time. Even if it's for socks.)
Obviously, he doesn't have anything for me, right? Or he really does but is sooo busy. Well, here's a secret: I'm married to him. I know just how much time he has or doesn't have. Guess what? He HAS time. He's busy, but has a very regular schedule. Like an old man.
I guess I'm sharing now.
But where are my socks?
So Andy goes to class and chats me on facebook. He just ordered my present.
........
Oh, and not just any present, he just ordered me my Valentine/Birthday present. Phew! Two birds with one stone! Way to go, Slick. Does he really think a late V-Day gift counts as a birthday gift too? My birthday is March 1.
What do you think he got me?

BUT, if he upgraded the broom to a Roomba, I could actually make this happen: (!!!)



Or maybe he got me some of this:

Anyway, I ordered heart-shaped pizza for me and Eli and Andy. And I gave Eli his Inside-Out-Boy pajamas for Valentine's Day. I'll have pictures for that....soooooon. I promise!!
I really wish I had friends close by! Lisa! So days like this don't suck so hard. I forgot to make it fun with/for Eli too. So now I feel guilty.

Wow, this is the worst post ever!

Two Anecdotes

I'm not sure if I should admit this, but this is an oldie. Yup. No offense to anyone who might be offended, but I just don't have anything decent to write. This is short and sweet. Please and thank you!

Two Anecdotes...

Eli and I were taking a lovely stroll in the woods. Snake! Huge, giant, terrifying snake! He slithered away having little or no interest in us. He probably forgot all about us, but I think about him everyday. I am now afraid of the woods, but I brave it with new knowledge and close-toed shoes. He was feet long with many curls in his tail.

I bought this wooden teether for Eli from etsy.com. I was asked about it the other day and this is what I said: "Since wood has some give to it, I thought that if I lost all my teeth, it might be nice to have some wood to suck on." I instantly died and blushed furiously.

Oh, the hubs was there at that last one and he had some inappropriate quips to throw in at the moment thus deepening the color of my face.


And just because this is the mood I'm in, here's a song to get stuck in your head!
(just kidding, I'm ALWAYS in the mood for this song...who isn't?? no one. no one worth their salt!! In my opinion.)