Pregnant Post Office

I just took my dog for a walk. We left at 8:30, so it's dark. I figure, I'm a grown up, no one knows by looking at me that I pretty much have no idea where I am, and I have a dog. And a phone. Safe.

But creepy things happened.

Sophie (doggie) decides we must stop at this old abandoned house to smell the grass. I look at the house...it's fine. But across the street, this little scene is happening: a guy is standing at the edge of his garage and there's a strobe light going off in there and once in a while it flashes red or green. He's got horrible greasy-curly hair pulled back in a little shitty pony tail. He's wearing a collared jacket and has a weird stoop not unlike the Joker. By not unlike I mean exactly like the Joker. So I look around to make it seem like I accidentally see him instead of how I'm sort of staring, he's looking down and then slowly looks up at me and cocks his head in that weird way. I hate him. He's scaring me. Then he closes the garage. Now I'm terrified for whoever is tied up in there. So, obviously, me and Sophie move on.

Then the leaves start blowing uphill. And I walk as fast as I can. And this is a steep hill! But I mean, the wind is blowing, so what's the big deal, right? Then I get to the corner to take a break and let Sophie smell the Almighty Stop Sign. A runner passes by and I'm reminded to take a giant chill pill because if people are running, everything is ok. I mean if people are exercising, then things aren't out of hand.

Anyway, so we start walking. We pass this house and Sophie needs to smell. As I'm standing there, this weird, chickeny sound starts cawing and screeching from inside this house! It's a bird sound, but I have no idea what it was. And it wasn't panicked, just strange and probably telling me that this night has bad things in store for me.

At this point, I'm just waiting for some dude in Army boots and a trench coat to start chasing me or for a house to explode just to break the tenion between me and this night.

I'm home.

And safe.

But I will not sleep tonight.