Holding Down the Fort

That's what Jaime has been doing for the last little while. Because I've been having a baby. Well not been having as in, actively, because that would be a really long labor, but having one. In my arms. On my boob. In the bassinet.

I've been holding down the fort here at home too. David's been at school a lot having projects and Army and such things. It's getting close to being the end of the year which also means China. So it's sort of like a crappy couple of weeks.

I'm experiencing anxiety for my first time as it's own independent thing. Usually I have depression coupled with anxiety. This time, it's just anxiety. The symptoms are much different. I have had post partum depression with both my kids but I don't have those same feelings this time around. I love the baby, I'm completely happy with her and everything that goes with it. It's the anxiety that is killing me. The shaking, the upset stomach, not being able to sleep, the fear of the near future, etc. I realize it's because David is leaving and I'm crossing my fingers and praying that it will get better once he leaves. Then I'm sure I will just cry a lot I'm sure. lol.

This baby is wonderful. She is an angel. I will update you more. I hope that you will share your stories. Hurry.

Earth Day

Happy Earth Day!

What did you do to celebrate?
I had plans, but we did not end up doing uuuuuuuh much. At all.
We were going to plant our seedlings, some sunflowers, and make blue and green cupcakes. Alas, it rained all weekend and my motivation waned considerably. Plus it's supposed to freeze overnight and not be warm all week, so it's a bad time to plant. So, later we will plant. Plus, maybe I'll have a tree-ling to plant later this week.
Also, we recycle.

School

I put my son in a daycare/preschool Monday through Wednesday from 9ish to 3ish. I hate it.

I love the school. I love the kids. We walk everyday to get there and he loves it.

Cannot.....manage.....mornings.

I remember now...the hardest part of going to school for me was getting there. If I could make it to class, I was golden. But if I hit snooze once, it was all over. Lost cause.

First week at his preschool, I was showered and made up and Eli was even wearing matching stuff. Week two is proving much more difficult. I feel like I know these people now, so what have I got to prove? They take care of my kid all day--that practically makes them family! I don't need to make myself byoo-tee-full for family! And so, I am slowly (but not so slowly really) talking myself into a slovenly downward spiral. Today, I had on cat-hairy pants that I tape-rolled...but they were not clean by most/any/all standards. I hadn't showered since some time this weekend. I can't remember. Probably pre-weekend.

Oh, man.

By next week....what will become of me? Of us?

Obviously, I need to devise devices PeeWeeHerman style to save time and add some awesomeness to our mornings. I need a system that will make mornings less horrible for me. I think the only way this could happen is through some sort of ingenious trickery. I need to think it's nighttime and I'm actually staying up late and this is what all the cool kids are doing.

Well, I don't know how my pregnant body is functioning. I literally got two hours of sleep last night and did a lot of cleaning and hustling and bustling all day. I know how I'm up. Because I love the night life. I'm rambling. This is my cue to stop typing and start posting.

Oh, Baby!

Well, alright. I'm ready to not be pregnant anymore. I'm not sick of it. My pregnancy is pleasant. I am as ready for this baby as I will be in two months...when I am due. But what I am ready for is is to be cute and skinny(ish) again. Summer is almost here!

I want to wear dresses!

Paint my toenails without losing my breath!

See my feet without kicking them out in front of me!

See my...area again!

Sleep on my back!

Have regular sex! (Or have sex regularly!!)

Eat pie and not be concerned with my bloodsugar level!

Need I mention the copious amounts of coffee I miss? Of alcohol? Drugs?!

Well, just kidding.

But I'd like the option to only hurt myself and not a little baby.

I want to ride a roller coaster, go to a loud concert, shoot guns, ride a horse, drive recklessly, run races, hang out in a jacuzzi, get a lay-down massage, ride a wave-runner, jump!! I want to bend over in a normal way that I don't even think about. To sit in a normal way and not have to lean back to make room for my legs to move. I want to not make jokes about my growing body.

I mostly just want to look cute. And for people to go, "You did NOT just have this gorgeous, sweet, mellow, sleeping-through-the-night baby! You look so skinny!" And I'll just smile at my baby and only he will know what grueling hell he put me through. Well, him and every mom who's been pregnant and labored for their baby. And I mean grueling hell in a totally shallow way...he's been a wonderful fetus. Can't knock that.

Ok.

Now you know where I stand. Me and this baby. Whose due date is June 28.

The Hospital Bag

This is quite possibly THE LAST day that I will be pregnant.
And you are the first to know. As in, the 5 of you that read this. Holla!

So what do you have packed for the hospital? Or what DID you pack when you went?

I kind of threw lots of things in the bag. Because at first, I wasn't even gonna have to have a bag. So the night before I went down for my first stripping, I hastily threw together a couple bags of crap.

In them I included such items as:

A million baby outfits
A million bows
Like 2 outfits for me (which was not enough for me spending the night at my sisters)
A giant pad (OMG. I have to SHOW you the pads David got me at the store. I asked for, you know, pads that are big for post pregnancy and I got the things that come right before you get to adult diaper status. Awesome crap I tell you).
Some nipple protectors
A bra
And my convenient travel bag that Davids mom gave me as a gift one year. Best present ever btw. It has samples of everything you'd ever need to go on a spur of the moment vaycay. Give it as a gift. Oooh. I'm gonna make a post about it and then I'm gonna hope that everyone Pinterests it so that I can get popular.

I didn't even bring wipes. Hopefully they will have some?

Hm... what were your must haves for el hospital?

The Secret

Me and my son have been really busy with crafts and projects and bragging about it on facebook.

Or so it seems.

But can I tell you my secret?

It's a big one.

I sleep till noon. Every. Day.
I can't get to sleep before 2:30 in the morning, and I don't even try to get up at a decent hour. I just let the dog out, feed Eli, and sleep on the couch. I am almost sure the mailman knows I do this because I wake up right after he stops by. (To deliver mail! Get your mind out the gutter!) He makes lots of noise. I am sure it is unneccesary and aimed only at pissing me off.

The secret to this is Netflix and a no-tolerance policy for waking me up.

So I get up, shower, and feel sorta guilty for wasting the whole morning, so me and Eli do some crappy craft idea. Or a really good one from Pinterest. Or we just hang out outside so that by the time the hubs gets home, he assumes we've been outside all day! And why would I tell him otherwise?

So that's it. My secret. A big one. A bad one. One that I actually don't feel guilty about, but I would like to see the morning once in a while.

I will share some pictures of what I get done.

Oh, and I plan for this. I have lists of things to do for me and Eli so there's no scrambling on my part. When Andy gets home, he needs to think how hard I work and wonders how I do it all. And he does. Boys are so stupid!!


Well, speaking of stupid, I can't find the cord to transfer pictures over. So I'll put up pictures I've posted to facebook.

It's So Hard To Be Popular

I just finished writing a post on my home blog about being married to the popular kid.

It's hard to get there though. And hard to BE there. In the popular spot. Which is part of the reason why I haven't pushed this blog as much as id like. Because it takes work!

I'd really like to be there eventually. And I know that sounds so lame and totally high schoolish but i want women (and men too if they want) to have a place to write and turn to for the real deal when it comes to pregnancy and raising kiddos.

I'm still pregnant. Probably will be for a couple weeks. I found a group on Facebook that is totally what I need and can't wait to be involved in. I'll share more about that later though.

So send us some blog posts! I have loved everything everyone has said so far and want more! Get on it.

Let It Be...

I don't have a baby yet.

I sort of had a feeling too.

Then I let people and my mind convince me otherwise.

I should've trusted my instincts. Babies will come when they will come.

I went to Phoenix on Friday for an appt and then again on Saturday to get my membranes stripped. My doc was upset in his dry humorish way that i was having this done when he was not on call (because I'm a VBAC he has to be at the hospital). He did it anyway. I'm 39 weeks and on Saturday was dialated to a 3-4 and 70% effaced.

David and I hung out together. I went to my sisters and did all the things I was supposed to do. Walked-ish, black and blue cohosh, oh and sex the night before. TMI? I woke David up and told him to get it up. Literally. Lol. TMI again?

But here i am. It's Sunday night and I am at home with my regular Braxton Hicks and a lot more leakage. TMI AGAIN! But whatever, this is a pregnancy blog right?

I could really use some positive thoughts.

I have felt frustrated because everyone sort of planned and did their weekend around me. I did say though, and check your texts friends, that I didn't think it was gonna happen this weekend. Hm. I've been wrong before though and there is still an hour and a half left of Sunday.

But really women, trust your instincts. Even if you desire one thing, there are just some rules that can't be broken with positive thoughts or cohosh.

This little one will come when she is ready and I'm so ready for me to be ready when she is ready. Lol.